Wednesday, June 27, 2007

c.i.a. laugh in

just released - 702 pages covering decades of c.i.a. illegalities.
picture an agency that is a mix of acme spy school and wild bill donovan clown college.

after their lemon juice by lightbulb training, their advanced emmet kelly makeup and plastic nose courses, agents whined about having to grow long hair to infiltrate the peace movement (the vietnam one). no doubt they charged their tie dyed shirts and paisley bell bottoms to the agency. imagine these homuncular hippies listening to the strawberry alarm clock and the monkees to get in the groove for subversion, flashing their mood-decoder rings. did their haight ashbury extreme makeovers convulse their teenage sons?

after decades of trying to disappear castro's beard perhaps our spies can work on finding paris hilton's undies.

spookland kept their little sherlocks busy.

it's a lot of hoofing and typing (indeed a rose mary woods stretch) to compile an index of 300,000 names of american citizens and organizations.

where did the agency get the weird drugs they tried out on the unsuspecting? hand me the c.i.a. golden triangle heroin file please, general hayden.

"project mockingbird" wiretapped washington news reporters.

the spysters overthrew and assassinated foreign leaders.

they were happy to hire mobsters to multiply mayhem.

they detained and tortured. they harassed singing stars. they broke into offices. they steamed open mail. they're reading this blog.

they are the american stasi.

in the 1960's the agency tried to bug a las vegas hotel room to find out if a mobster's moll was schtupping comedian dan rowan. there's a laugh in for you.

e. howard hunt, of watergate infamy, achieves a footnote. one secret c.i.a. memorandum is titled "hunt request a lockpicker." the times reports "it is unclear exactly what lock mr. hunt was trying to open."

it is very clear to me.

he was breaking open the first ten amendments to the constitution and stealing our bill of rights.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

ooo good one- i'm new to your blog. i guess i'll keep you posted.