Saturday, July 21, 2007

american slapshots

at midnight crowds exit a borders with capes, wands and magus caps. across the street on the church terrace the homeless under horse blankets sleep.


george w. bush toured a bun factory in nashville. president doughboy quipped "you guys are really making some serious bread here."
on saturday bush's buns will be parted during a colonoscopy. the pres will be under anesthesia (boosting his i.q. significantly). under section 3 of the 25th amendment to the u.s. constitution dick cheney will be acting president. enjoy your weekend knowing an unconscious buttbrain will be replaced by a true asshole.


fema (fubar emergency manglement ass.) has generously offered its services for republican senators' next all night filibuster. instead of a room cluttered with rolled-in cots, fema is importing their fab femameldahyde portable trailers for the solons' sleeping pleasure. they can now fume among the aromatic fumes emanating from the pressed wood chipboard interiors so beloved by new orleans expats.

chinese contractors will provide free toothpaste and bottles of cough syrup brewed according to their special secret formulas. the national security agency will install telephone and email service as part of their total info awareness plan. blackwater will handle security. an autographed copy of "the sayings of newt gingrich" will rest on each pillow.

a spokeslug for acme trailer enterprises declared "these senators look like they've been soaking in formeldahyde for eons, so a whiff or two of fumes won't make no difference."


fred of hollywood is announcing its new line of "vitter diapers." their slogan: "hook 'er with our ragin cajun undies exclusives."

to get the balls rolling, fred is sending all male u.s. senators a box of a dozen starter dipes. "we'd like to do some photo shoot sessions with the senators during their next filibuster pajama party all nighter," said a public relations agent.

no senators or their staff would comment. michael moore said "we already know they're full of crap."


Friday, July 20, 2007

money doesn't talk it swears

the american rich.

the sunday new york times graciously slaps us notes of their croesus overplus of buckos, their history, their gargantuan self-regard. their wealth just sorta happened in a lucky lottery ticket way.

get over your attitude that they are takers, rapers, greed fuehrers. no - good luck, puritan application and their inherent virtue won the day and the yachts.

just ask them about their virtue. "god gave me my money," croaks john d. rockefeller. andrew carnegie writes "the gospel of wealth." their money is holy. your dough is filth; theirs sits at the right hand of god. on their sistene ceiling god slips adam a platinum credit card.

carnegie squeezed the life out of his workers. that's ok - andrew dotted the dales with libraries.

frick was a prick. but willya look at his museum of goyas.

john d's legacy? you can watch the rockettes.

just ask them: the rich have civilized us. please kiss their tasselled loafers.

they dwell in their silver aeries, reward of their holiness. you cringe in a rip-off basement apartment because you suck. jesus ain't put the healing touch on your bank o' america account.

black limos glide them to meetings in walnut rooms. your rusty honda won't start.

they buy their own islands. you get an afternoon at revere beach, sunburned, gnawing cold pizza.

they bid on warhols in london and geneva. you can't pay piano lessons for your kid.

they are wheeled through quadruple bypasses. you linger in the emergency room with an infected cut, waiting.

they run the world. your son is back from iraq with no legs.

all wealthocracies create a religion of owning. they infect every organ of society. they corrupt legislators (delay, abramoff). laws apply not to them (scooter is free). taxes are for suckers (warren buffet's secretary forks over a greater income percentage than the billionaire does). all media is for specious frippery and power worship (p. hilton, brit hume). add a mercenary army of the poor to extend their reich (name one senator's son on duty in baghdad).

their gospel of wealth is a theology of theft.

Sunday, July 1, 2007

martin murdered again

we know their decision. we read the words. now we wonder how the words change the climate of our living.

the 1954 brown decision held a hand up out of the abyss of humiliation that was segregation and altered america.

but where to now?

justice breyer: "this cannot be justified. [the court] distorts precedent, misapplies the relevant constitutional principles...and it undermines brown's promise. this is a decision the nation will come to regret."
"i must dissent."

jack greenberg, who worked for the plaintiffs in 1954: "preposterous."

william t. coleman, another lawyer 53 years back: "the majority opinion is 100% wrong."

five men have cracked open a half century of law. what will come out of this wreckage? is this a soft entry into the new white supremacy? have these five forgotten the police batons, the snarling dogs, the fire hoses, the noose and the fire? will this decision choke our air like a malign smog?

martin luther king, jr. preached: "injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere." our everywhere includes a million desks in 50,000 schools. our everywhere encompasses karl rove's blackberry, alberto gonzales' hidden papers, dick cheney's locked safe, the moldy wards of walter reed, the secret spying, and yes, the blooded streets of baghdad.

injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere.

will the vile past presage a dire future? we visited the deep south and asked 88 year old elmore peckerwood of stonewall junction. "good decision? hell, yeah. i'm bringin out the ole seperate water fountains from out back. we'll have three bubblers this time around - one white, one black, and one fer them mexies."

across the county in lee's landing,elderly clarence neckchafe remarked "glad ta see them librals gettin hosed again. i say the judge thomas is my kinda nigra. i think that ole chicken coop over thar what use ta be the colored school could be spruced up and put ta use again."

our final trek to the past occured in a dim parlor at the home of famous tia fonia, renowned psychic and seance mistress. after long dark silence a wavering ectoplasmic figure appeared. we gasped. it was the 1963 specter of george c. wallace appearing in a doorway. the ghost stiffened and shrieked "re-segregation now! re-segregation forever!"