Wednesday, November 7, 2007

law boreds and waterboards

the amazing videos of lawyers rumbling with cops in the streets of pakistan should open the eyes of our american legal sluggards. as a useful bit of needed exercise for corpulent corporate attorneys, daily street battles with the politzei would tone flabby bodies and awaken drowsy minds.

caparisoned in their pin-striped three-piece kevlar outfits, briefcases sprouting knives, maces twirling, these sheister shock troops will pour out of hales and dorrs and mix it up with the boys in blue. they could make "300" look like a nancy pillow fight.

if a posse of flame queens can embarrass the new york tactical police at the stonewall inn, surely our butch perry masons can give the mary blue gowns a whuppin.

watching the evening news will be a sport again.


current tv shows videos of waterboarding.
u.s. soldiers were court martialed for waterboarding suspects in the phillipines after the spanish american war.
japanese soldiers were sent to jail in tokyo trials after world war two.
a texas cop got ten years for waterboarding prisoners in the 1980s.

yet sen. shumer (d-no nuts) and sen. feinstein (d-wax museum) join nine republican colleagues and vote to approve judge mukasey as the new alberto gonzales lite to head the ruins of the u.s. justice department. mukasey just can't bring himself to say that waterboarding is torture.

another chunk is whacked off the statue of liberty.

all wildeans urge you to mail these senators: an orange jump suit, a blindfold, shackles, and a gallon of poland springs. try it out yourselves, senators. see how you like it.