trump tower baghdad

the state department today announced that the vast $600 million u.s. baghdad embassy will be privatized. the equity firm of trump, chump and dump, l.l.p. is the likely buyer.

the donald outlined his plans for this "unprecedentedly fabulous makeover" at a press conference in the sultanate of oman.

"we'll make this a stunning new mecca." trump crowed. "imagine a sultry night in the new baghdad," he exuded, "when the orchestra strikes up the 1812 overture, we won't even need our own cannons. the danger and glamour of this city on the tigris will supercharge the world-weary paparazzi."

luxury suites will be fitted with grenade-proof shutters, korans, and prada gas masks.

the "shock and awe" disco's indoor pyrotechnics will replicate the sumptuous danger of a baghdad gone wild. enjoy apocalyptic dancing till dawn.

waiters dressed in silk crusader outfits will flit table to table through a dozen luxury restaurants. armani clothed patrons can indulge such delicacies as shishkabob al quaida, fallujah flambe with freedom fries, and tempting shiite on a shingle.

wayne newton will kick off the fun in the enormous boomboom room. he invites you to shake to the beat of the new dance craze, "the mocktada."

huge plasma video screens will feature such classic films as "twelve o'clock high," "dr. strangelove," "the best years of our lives," and "blackhawk down."

trump vowed to hire at least fifty elvis impersonators.

innovative pool wear will include mae west flak vests and and kevlar helmets in imitation of trump's signature mop top hairdo. wet burkha contests happen every tuesday evening.

the "rumsfeld double-down lounge" will provide texas high stakes poker in a relaxed atmosphere of cost overruns and paranoia.

the "thief of baghdad room" will be reserved for pentagon contractors.

wackenbutt corporation will provide beefy armed alcoholics for security.

A state department spokeswoman said, "this ought to give that bearded guy in his cave a coronary."

"this will be the world's most explosive new entertainment venue," trump continued. "we can't promise seventy five virgins and fountains of wine, but this'll come darned close to paradise."

make your will and your reservations now. contact saddamnation airlines for ticket information.