lonelygrunt15

at ease, gentlemen.

i hear you all bitchin bout our new rules about them intertubes. lemme lay it out for you. defective immediately, keep your asses off of myspace, youtube, xtube, flickr, dickr, and any other libral shitass wangwave video crap web thing.

and especially stay off dudesnude. i know you guys say you love each other but do you hafta deep kiss? and don't tell me the brits are doin it. this ain't amsterdam or frisco.

and another thing. stop talkin to them writers. don't let me catch you in bed with some embedded journalist. a pen's as dangerous as a bomb.

now i know you been hearin about g.i.'s returnin home and bein denied medical and disability cause the docs fake up some "pre-existing" mental condition b.s. look, you volunteered for this here army. that's crazy from the getgo, so we already got you on a technicality.

i don't gotta remind you to be super careful out there. this place ain't no shopping mall. well, cept for mccain. baghdad is damn dangerous. reminds me of detroit. with crappier cars. crappier cars that explode.

so help me, if one a you guys gets blowed up by any ied, i'll personally strangle whatever's left of you.

hey, you in back there - put down that goddamn noam chomsky book and pay attention.

president brushcut's got his fubar surge thing goin, and we're the lucky bunnies what got to carry it out. extreme awareness is the rule. avoid any bigass trucks with posters of ben loadin on em. remain super cautious while searching or patting down civilians or suspects.

and that reminds me of another thing. no, repeat no, fraternizin with them muslim girls. you stay outta their sunni triangles. and don't be callin in air strikes on no more nail salons.

hey, and don't think i didn't see you friggin sad sacks scratching your eyebrows with your middle fingers the goddamn whole time dick cheney gave his speech here. you can thank jesus the v.p. is fuckin nearsighted. and i don't want any mass crotch scratching next week when condi visits.

men, we got a important mission here. just cause they won't fuckin tell us what the fuck it is don't mean we ain't gonna go out and accomplish the goddamn mission. ya follow me on this?

let's go out and and kick ass and win some hearts and minds.

cause if you fuck this up, boys, there's a moldy rat room waitin for you at walter reed.

oh, cookie wants me to remind you that tonight's special is chipped beef on toast.

that's it.

disfugginsmissed.